The Great Toilet Debacle of 2015 – A Cautionary Tale
It begins like this…
After a shower I put lotion on all my pertinent parts to keep them from drying and cracking like the Mojave desert floor. When I got to the leg this morning, shit went sideways. Quite literally.
I did what I always do: rested my foot up on the toilet seat to better get the full reach of the leg. I was wearing my super awesome, super soft, super slippery socks and well, you probably see where this is headed.
Into the toilet the foot goes.
But wait there’s more.
When I tried to rectify that horrible situation, my world disintegrated into a Buster Keaton movie. The other slippy sock lost grip on the cold tile. So I’m skating around with the right foot trying to regain balance, and the left foot has apparently set up shop in the toilet because it’s decidedly not cooperating with my pleas to leave it.
It’s Bambi on ice, a flail-fest, and I’m going down.
So of course, on my way, I do what now? Yes, grab that shower curtain because a two pound rod not securely fastened to the wall will hold up a (redacted) pound woman as she’s thrashing wildly about.
I go down hard, curtain in hand, over the side of the shower, and down the bar comes, smacking me in the face as I slump over into the tub.
All this while nekkid (but for the super cushy socks).
Not one of my finer moments. But I did get a good laugh out of it.
And a nice shiner on my eye.
Luckily – the toilet had been flushed.
Life lesson #1: toilet seat down when lubing up the legs.
Life lesson #2: slippy socks stay on the floor.
Life lesson #3: What do you think? What have you learned from my mistakes? Write your thoughts in the comments below. When you stop laughing at me.
Feel free to share any ridiculously embarrassing thing you’ve done lately (or ever) too. We’ll laugh at you, not with you. Promise.
(I posted this on Facebook earlier this year, and Jenny Hansen shared it on her Cowbell blog here, so forgive me if this is a repeat for you, but I felt it was time to share some serious silly on the blog and (thankfully?) nothing this ridiculous has happened lately for me to share. Doesn’t get much sillier than this. Seriously.)
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