A Farewell Letter To My Girl Who Was Never ‘Just A Dog’

Goonie Bug: I thought it would be enough. All the snuggling and cuddling we did those last few days. Sleeping with you on the floor. Holding your paws. Singing to you and whispering in your ear how amazing you’ve been for so long. I thought if I spent as much time as possible telling you…

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Hellbent on Hope: Don’t Give Up, Don’t Give In

I was going to reveal something to you today that I’m extremely proud of. Something I’ve been working on for the last couple months. Something that’s been hard not to post about until now because I have zero patience and a terrible need to share. A project, a sign of faith, a beacon of hope….

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My Dog Is Headed for The Bridge – Why Do I Feel Like I Am Too?

For the last week or so, every time I thought about sitting down to write this post I suddenly found something way more important and interesting to do. Cutting my nails into tiny shapes of farm animals, watching a maimed spider crawl up the toilet (fascinating), cleaning my eyes with Windex. Anything not to sit…

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PETA Doesn’t Stand For What You Think

PETA: People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. Here’s another acronym they might be known by: People for the Euthanasia of Thousands of Animals. What the what? Okay, buckle up, kids, ‘cause this is going to be a bumpy ride. I don’t usually write posts like this, but this is something I’m passionate about and…

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You Can’t Break The Language Barrier When You’re Hungry – Barcelona Part 3

You Said What Now? Confession: traveling to Europe made me feel, at times, like a small town ‘Murican country bumpkin. Which is precisely what I am. If this is all new to you, and you haven’t read about our journey to Europe yet, you can read Barcelona: Part 1 here, and Barcelona: Part 2 here….

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The Wonder of Nuns, Camera Rage, and Street Scams – Stinky Barcelona Part 2

A continuing travelogue of our adventures in Europe. Barcelona Part Uno here if you missed it. The Wonder of Nuns (Who Sing!) One of the highlights in Barcelona was visiting Antoni Gaudí’s Sagrada Família. It was on a short list of places on our trip that literally took my breath away the moment we entered….

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The Great ByrNolley European Adventure Part 1 – Barcelona

Houston We Have A Problem Early on April 28th, the morning we left for Barcelona before the ass-crack of dawn, I checked our flight information to make sure everything was running on time. Go for launch. We’d had a little less than three hours’ sleep the night before, but we were on our way to…

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My Dying Dog Teaches Me How To Live Every Day

I have a tenuous relationship with reality when it comes to my dog, Lucy – AKA The Goon. I’ve never fully hopped on board with the idea, commonly held by most normal and sane animal lovers, that one day she will cross the infamous Rainbow Bridge never to return to me. ‘Ain’t gonna happen’ was…

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Potty Humor For The Monday Blues

The Great Toilet Debacle of 2015 – A Cautionary Tale It begins like this… After a shower I put lotion on all my pertinent parts to keep them from drying and cracking like the Mojave desert floor. When I got to the leg this morning, shit went sideways. Quite literally. I did what I always…

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Perfectionists Unite! (Prepare To Suck)

Have you ever loved something so fiercely that if anyone were to take it away from you, you’d actually entertain the thought of getting murdery on them? What if this thing you ate, slept, and breathed for years of your life was slowly stripped from you, not by someone else, but some dark, insidious force…

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Depression Sucks, But This Might Help

High up on the hill across the street our neighbors have a sprawling bougainvillea. It’s a brawny beast of a bush. Its blossoms are fifty shades brighter than any blossoms ought to be. That bush is an asshole and I’ll tell you why. Its flowers are so incandescent, so utterly offensive in their cheer, some…

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Teacher Predator

Like any other relationship, it started with a glance. A flirty suggestion of something more in his eyes. Of possibility. Of danger. What did I know? I was only fifteen. I wasn’t experienced. But he was. Because he was over twice my age. And a teacher. He wasn’t my teacher. I don’t remember his name…

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How I Finally Found Compassion For My Inner Jerk

Confession: I’m addicted to bullying. You said what now? Yep. I’m that big sweaty kid on the playground with bad hair, crooked teeth, and cockeyed self-esteem, laying into those oddball creative types with the skinny wrists. But see, I’m also the creative oddball with the skinny wrists. I am both the attacker and the victim….

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Why You Should Get Back On The Horse Even If He Nearly Broke Your Hoohah

Author Kelly Byrne meme ready to fly

My mother’s the kind of woman who loves a good belly laugh. Who doesn’t, right? Growing up, many times, those laughs would come at my expense, and usually after something kinda sorta bad happened. As long as she knew my parts weren’t broken beyond repair, or I wasn’t bleeding out, she’d more than likely be…

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